am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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