If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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