when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
