that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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