Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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