This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
