he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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