So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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