I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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