You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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