Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
