Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just cropdusted the office
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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