I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she peed on how many people?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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