Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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