Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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