i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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