Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
