So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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