your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
