If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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