WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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