One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
