His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
