ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
