Yo dont text me then not text me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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