I checked into jail on foursquare
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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