So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
