I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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