Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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