Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
