Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
COCAINE IS GR8
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize