Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
