how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
