Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
