Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
false alarm, still single
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
