New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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