Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Still dying that you shit outside
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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