No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
