And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
