What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
