What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
