it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
