...so i touched it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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