I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
