Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
