If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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