Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
