therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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