God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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