I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
