You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
