I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
