Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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