He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
In other news, I just burned my penis
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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