Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
