it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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