he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
