This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
