I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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