She's JV to your varsity
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
