he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
