hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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