can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
