Fuck appropriateness.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
