hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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