She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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